RPHC 5s vs Purley Walcountians 4 Away

A trip to Purley Walcountians for the mighty 5s this week and where it not for the endless drizzle, a splendid view of London. Happily the majestic Madrid-like skyline of East Croydon was visible for the team to enjoy as the Captain ran through the line up.

Once Pippa had provided suitable accommodation for our travelling away fans in the form a rapidly erected tent, we were underway with the warmup.

At this point, a brief disclaimer… there was a lot of goals and for reasons that will later become clear the author of this report took it upon himself to apply liquid based analgesics (liberally) late into the evening… so the facts of this report may be ever so slightly skewed. Or as the former President of the United States may put it, different facts from yours.

Priory looked and felt up for the match from the off, encouraging each other forward and with good vocal coordination from the back line the 5s took their well structured 3-2-3-2 up the pitch to pile the pressure on their opposition.

Cross after cross hurtled across the face of the Purley goal courtesy of Snowy who was repeatedly found in space in the first ten minutes by Richard and Monty both playing beautifully weighted through balls. There were so many in fact, it was starting to look like one of those days where we just weren’t going to find the final strike….

At last Matt S and Pankaj got on the end of two of them and picked up a goal a piece for Priory to go -0-2 early ish in the first half. This looked to be the measure of the game until the first of our injury woes kicked in (pun intended) with Snowy being reduced to just the one functioning leg. The Talismanic front man was unable to take further part in the game but for his sardonic and frankly hilarious commentary from the dugout… and excellent coaching, especially to our forward line.

There followed a ten-minute lull in the action as planned and unplanned substitutions were made and the Priory system stuttered with a few too many turnovers. Purley made use of two very effective play makers who began their phases of play deep in their own half – too deep for Pankaj and Mike J to willingly mark them from their own 16s – we needed to press.

It was during this period that Purley picked up their one and only goal of the game. A well-played attack, a free hit close to our 23 and the ball span out beyond the toes of Mark PM’s left kicker – 1-2, Purley seemingly back in it….

… Not for long. Enter this week’s dynamic duo to our story, with a combined age considerably shy of numerous individual tallies, James and Kalyan began a series of beautifully timed, darting runs.

The first of numerous team goals began with Matt B at left back who slotted a pass between a pair of Purley Players to Mike J, who with time and space to look up played a through ball to James (which I still don’t really understand how he managed to untangle from his own feet whilst sprinting and looking backwards), who in turn exchanged passes with Kalyan – by now well into the Purley D, bang, goal.

About 4 minutes later they did it again in almost identical fashion, this time James bagging the goal.

Just to mix things up the 5th Priory Goal was launched down the right. Richard began it with a great cross pitch ball to the ever-charging Pippa who picked out Monty. Driving toward the baseline with James and Kal in eager anticipation but it was Pankaj who picked it out and bagged his second. 1-5 at half time.

Credit to Purley, they did not let up on their attacking play and the ever-calm centre back command post was shared by Paul V and Mitesh – more than once they made 1 on 1 saving tackles and interceptions. Pippa was as solid as ever at right back and contributed to numerous counters with his charging runs. The Lion’s share of the Purley pressure was reserved for the Priory left, despite Howard and Matt S playing well to disrupt these attacks it was Matt B who was often left isolated and under pressure.

He was sublime.

He didn’t miss a tackle or an intercept opportunity and despite the pressure he kept playing inch perfect passes inside to Mike J or down the line to a waiting Matt S or Kalyan. It was another one of these passes that started goal 6, Matt S linking up with Kalyan – Pankaj by now fully invested in the most attacking of attacking central midfield roles in support to supply the one-two and Kalyan scored his second.

By now bits of Priory player were starting to fall off and there began the game of “no you go on” based on who was slightly less injured. A slip in a tackle and attempt to break his fall led to the little finger of Mike’s right hand ending up at 90 degrees to where it should be. A quick relocation (of the finger to its correct position, and the player to the bench) and icing meant it was probably the end of his game. Until Mitesh’s hammy had other ideas….

Fate (though some suggested the quality of the ball and / or pitch) hadn’t been with the midfield trio of Richard, Pankaj and Mike the previous week at Addiscombe. Not helped by a spot of digestive related unpleasantness among one of their number, they were tripping over each other and unable to find time and space. This week when the machinery got going, everything clicked with both Richard and Pankaj hurling beautifully weighted aerials into space and all three of them coordinating a very effective press.

Fate, meanwhile, was not with Monty, the very few miscued passes, bobbles or shanks all seemed to head in his direction. And whilst he wasn’t getting enough of the ball he deserves much credit for being in the right places that enabled others – especially James to find space…

But it was time to take matters into his own hands. Picking the ball up just outside the Purley 23, he ran at the left midfielder deftly taking the ball past him. Then the left back. Then the centre back. By now a rather weary covering right back made one final attempt at a goal saving tackle… by which I mean he tried to shove Monty off the ball – credit to the umpire for advantage play – and just as we all thought the angle was now too acute as he stumbled forward Monty absolutely smashed the ball into the far corner – lucky number 7.

The final accounting reveals:
Matt S 1
Pankaj 2
Kalyan 2
James 1
Monty 1

More of that next week please!

Champagne moment goes to Monty for crowning goal number 7 – a very close second for the James and Kal goal combos.

It is not often a 1-7 away win sees Man of the Match go to a left back. That it was a win by such a margin of votes shows just how well Matt B played – well done sir!

Numerous fines also noted, including absent shorts, ageism and injury related jug avoidance.