RPHC 5s vs Woking 5s

A 3-1 win and (in part owing to one or two other sides with games in hand) a splendid second position in the league for the 5s this week. Glorious goals from guest star Andy W, a belter from Snowy and the coolest of flicked finishes from Monty.

Stupendous reflexes and fast footwork from Jacob in goal…. I’m tempted to leave it there… but I will at least attempt to describe to the passage of 70 minutes on an astro, involving 22 blokes, two excellent umpires, a ball and some hockey sticks… it was hockey…. I think, not our usual brand, but definitely hockey. Kind of… here goes my attempt at the buildup and game…..

From the delightful pace and surroundings of Royal Holloway’s hockey surface to that of St Bede’s. Not so much a slow down as an airbag to the face.

Thrice, the skipper made his way there – an early pitch inspection causing not undue jitters (it was frozen solid), a second visit with the ever-optimistic Vice-Captain and super star junior coach, and lead volunteer Taylor (upon whose sage advice – “it’s not frozen, it’s just terrible” meant we went ahead) and finally for the game itself….

…Blood pressure was always going to be a challenge…

Woking stuck in traffic, a goalkeeper on a tight turnaround from a preceding football match (massive thank you to Dad Jon who didn’t mention it had gone to pens until he and J arrived…) and a husband umpiring alongside one of the finest legal minds in the country. What could go wrong?

Instructions issued for best behaviour (for the sake of my marriage), and we eventually got underway, later than planned - not due to any goalkeeping delay (thanks to the splendid efforts of team Purdy) but that most evil of forces – a constant thorn in the side of Surrey based hockey, the M25.

A standard 3-2-3-2 for the 5s and an unusually bulked out squad meant groups of 3 or 4 players were setup with nominated positions for rolling subs. Jurgen (Doc) Watson presided as splendidly as ever over the plan, and apart from Julian’s question of “What the *$%# is Left Screen” (despite having played there twice for the 5s) everyone seemed well briefed and ready to go.
Only we weren’t. Perhaps the availability of an actual pitch to warm up on, combined with the delayed start meant whatever switches should have been on were not….

… As a result, inconsiderately, though perhaps fairly reflecting the run of play, Woking scored first.

A fairly won short corner, a well-timed slip to the right post and the ball was slotted beyond Jacob. 0-1 down.

It could easily have been 0-2 were it not for fine work from the back line and Jacob in goal. Paul V (rising splendidly and with extraordinary certainty as he does) fetched aerial after aerial from the sky.

The boundless energy of James C at Right Back broke down Woking play when needed and then saved a pig’s worth of bacon by sweeping.
Jacob L picked ball after ball from attacking sticks, and Julian, calm and collected as ever – stole possession before smashing it down the line, and in alternation with Clarky kept attacks down the Woking right quiet.

We just couldn’t string a pass together.

We kept doing the hard part, sprinting back, marshalling the defensive structure, making extraordinary tackles to win posession….
…And then we gave it back to our opponents with poor passing. Like some sort of odd training gambit, it was clearly “defence practice week”.

Efforts from the midfield assisted us in soaking up the pressure. Andy W was sublime, jabbing, tackling and calling like a demon in central midfield. The usual screen pairing of Rich and Mike kept pushing and trying to contain their opponents in their own half but then they started chucking the ball over our heads… like we do….. Rude.

Enough of this negativity – so many positives, so from here on out – let us discuss winning!

Jacob P in goal was simply sublime. Reflex saves coupled with perfect decision making to drive forward and boot the ball away. A broken down shortie and an absolutely smashed ball at close range - surely a goal – nope, off balance from the first attempt he turned his leg and swatted it away. Simply put, Jacob kept us in it until (and after)….

…Guest star Andy W equalised. Not in duplicate fashion to the Woking Short, but not dissimilar, a goal mouth scramble and a well taken slot home. This underestimates his shear application to the game – he worked and worked and worked…

On a similar vein - we know how impressive Max’s stick skills are, but they are equal too (and in the author's opinion less impressive than…) his work rate and passion when dispossessed. Max is tough to tackle, but I pity the defender that succeeds, for he shall not be on the ball long!

Great work too from Hoody, who when receiving the ball to his left, and at a full sprint, then executed an astonishing turn. Maintaining his momentum he turned through 360 degrees, placing himself between ball and defender he pirouetted into the D, and slipped the ball towards the P-spot, no goal on this occasion, but a champagne moment nomination if ever there was one.

Kalyan displayed his usual brand of trouble too – popping up from nowhere to terrify the Woking Right Back, and when running out to the left, feinting passes and finding himself in enormous space.

Monty (presumably now a fully-qualified Jedi Knight) was applying himself down the right-hand side of the park and with his brand of trickery and mind tricks was making much mischief.

Clarky was handling 2 on 1 situations and under strict instructions from Paul V, Mike J was engaged in the defensive effort too. Pankaj, nervous by his standards (by which I mean, slightly concerned) was covering left to right and desperately trying to introduce calm to the chaos.

At one apiece and heading to half time, a breakthrough was required. And the talismanic ice man was the man to do it. A rare period in which 3 passes were strung together via Messrs Taylor and Hood, Snowy found himself in possession on the opposition 23. Displaying the feather light footwork of a man half his age, he sauntered into the top of the Woking D and absolutely belted the ball into the top right hand corner leaving no chance for the keeper to even think, let alone save. 2-1

Half time came and an attempt was made to insist the 5s play simple short ball hockey…. We didn’t listen…

Another frenetic period of pressure and goal saving efforts all over the park and more absurdity….

A short corner won, and Mike J was given the shortest of short injections to then smash it (Julian style) into the bottom right. A pity then, when he topped it…. An embarrassing affair made only marginally less so, by Jules’ own slip, this time on the astro as he stacked it under the amused gaze of a Woking Junior.

The short corner embarrassment was happily rectified moments later. Snowy decided a left slip was required – only when the injection came, the Woking runner had closed that option off – no chance to get the ball to Andy W….

… So he pivoted, went right and rolled the ball to Monty. Lesser players (the author included) would probably have attempted to first time the hit straight into the logging keeper (or more likely, missed it altogether). Happily Cool Hand Robins stopped the ball, looked up, and flicked it over the keeper into the netting. 3-1.

There followed a period of extraordinary anxiety (I know I promised positives but bear with me); Woking cut through again and again. We challenged, won the ball then (rather sportingly) gave it back a few more times but ultimately we held on.

A victory, and one in which we should take pride – scrappy, not our hockey. But we wanted it, just that little but more.

A range of nominations for MoM (special mentions to PV, Snowy, Hoody, James C, Max, Monty) but a clear winner. Jacob P, goalkeeper extraordinaire – reflex saves, stick saves, pad saves, kicker saves. Superb.

Champ was also clear cut, special mentions to Andy W for the goal mouth scramble, Monty for being ice cold under pressure but it’s Snow that takes the honours this week:

“Displaying his displeasure at being whacked on the calf by dispatching a rocket into roof of the net, and probably saying ‘have it!’ as he did so.”
“Emphatic rising shot for 1st goal. Key to shaking our team out of it’s early game lethargy.”
“That goal. Two keepers would not have saved it…”

A well-earned week off - then Sunbury & Walton Hawks. I believe we are owed three points from them too, so be available!?.

Multiple fines noted… too many to mention here! Not least of which a Pilkington Robins enquiry!